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To have a friend I could enjoy being with, with the added benefit of sex.’‘It is fashionable, at the moment, to try to take the intimacy out of sex, to see it as a no-strings pleasure that can be picked up and put down at will,’ she says. It’s a lesson that 24-year-old Evie Moore has learned the hard way.She has had several Friends With Benefits, but says she has decided to draw a line under them because she feels they are hindering her from being in a committed relationship.‘All the moments you enjoy in a friendship — feeling relaxed in their company, not caring what you look like, baring your soul in the pub, admitting to all kinds of disasters and having a good laugh — are complicated if you start sleeping together.They see each other and sleep together until one of them meets someone else, at which point the physical side of their friendship stops. ‘But we started teasing each other and there was definitely a spark between us.’‘One moment we are all lovey-dovey, the next we’re messing about like pals.When we first met, I think Doug was more into me than I was into him, but now the situation has reversed and I don’t know where I stand.Doug says he respects me too much to lie to me and just isn’t ready to commit to a relationship.’So this is hardly a no-strings-attached arrangement.But Lucy insists it’s the kind of relationship with which they are both happy. ‘When we met through friends, I wasn’t immediately attracted to Doug, even though he ticks a lot of boxes for me — he’s dark-haired, dark-eyed, university-educated, intelligent and funny,’ says Lucy.That is certainly the view of Rachel Morris, a psychotherapist specialising in sex and relationships, who predicts an unhappy outcome for Lucy and Doug — and for any other friends in a set-up likes theirs.
For a growing number of young women, sleeping with a friend is no longer a taboo but a lifestyle choice.
Sitting stony-eyed in lecture halls or surreptitiously policing beer-fuelled banter in the uni bar.
To the untrained eye, they seem like your average book-devouring, ideas-discussing, H&M-adorned youth, but anyone who’s spent more than five minutes in their company will know that these students are far more interested in shutting debate down than opening it up.
I was attacked by a swarm of Stepford students this week.
On Tuesday, I was supposed to take part in a debate about abortion at Christ Church, Oxford.